***
Chapter 9 : Red as Roses
***

White for purity and mourning, white the color of
tried and tested love, pure love, true love.

\\drip\\

Pink is the color of young love, innocent and
insecure.

\\drip\\

Red of passionate love, of fire. Red is the color the
heart bleeds.

\\drip\\

Red is the color of pain and anguish.

\\drip\\

Love and blood...

\\drip\\

...are both as red as roses.

***

Sunlight streamed into the room through an open
window. The space was vast for an office and
tastefully decorated, just as Zechs remembered it. The
tall backed chair behind the desk was facing outward.
He resisted the urge to run back through the door he'd
come in when he saw the corner of an elbow protruding
past the arm of the seat. The elbow was clad in a
familiar blue, the same startling dark blue of eyes he
still dreamed of.

He took a step forward, waiting for the walls to
crumble around him, to deny him what he was so close
to. Nothing happened except the chair shifted
minutely.

"Treize?" he called out tentatively, his voice loud in
the silence.

The chair creaked again as the occupant leaned
backwards.

"Milliard." There was a sigh. "I knew you'd come."

It was HIM. Zechs moved forward as the chair turned
slightly.

"I said I'd be waiting, didn't I? Now we can be
together without the world interfering, like we were
supposed to be."

***

Tears streamed down his face. He closed his eyes and
breathed deeply, biting his lip and wondering when if
things would be the same when he looked again. The
pain made it clear that this was no dream.

Zechs opened his eyes. The room was unchanged. "It is
you. I'd hoped, but..." His long legs made ground
eating strides and he walked towards something he'd
never dreamed to see again, something he thrown away
and regretted ever since.

He reached one hand to the back of the chair to turn
it. White gloved fingers reached up to curl about his
own. The chair moved with a squeak that ignored the
wonder of the moment.

He looked down and had to stop himself from jerking
away. What he found was what he should have expected.

One clear blue eye looked up at him, the other side of
the face a mess of bone and flesh. As if that final
explosion had melted him like candle wax.

"What's wrong, Milliard?" There was hurt in the
remaining orb, and despair.

He swallowed, then curved his lips up in a smile.
"Nothing's wrong."

This was entirely his fault and he could not leave
Treize like this. "Nothing, I just missed you. I won't
leave you again."

"Milliard?"

He bent down and kissed him. No, he couldn't leave. He
was responsible for this. It was what he deserved.

***

"Husband."

The word sent a chill up Wufei's spine. That was
something that had not been directed towards him in a
long time.

The corridor had been empty, just another portion of
the maze he found himself trapped in. He had to find
the others, but now...

"Husband. Look at me."

Something told him not to listen, to ignore the voice
or flee, but he could not. Wufei turned, expecting
some sort of monstrosity mimicking someone he held in
his heart.

She had not changed. Meiran, stubborn and willful,
glared at him.

"You shouldn't be here." Not here, not her. She did
not belong in such a place. Ancestors, was this all
that waited in the afterlife, no matter the person?

"I'm here for you. I have something to ask you and
something to tell you." She raised one hand and
brushed it back through her dark hair and seemed to
search for words. He back up, this was wrong, she
shouldn't act this way. His wife had never acted like
this towards him. Was it some sort of trap? Probably.
Had not everything else been so far?

"You're one of 'them'," he stated, dropping into a
fighting stance. The dead couldn't be trusted here.

"Wufei." She held up one hand. "Wait."

But he couldn't afford to. His friends needed him.
there was no doubt in his mind that they would have to
work together to get out of this situation. This was
not his wife, but another illusion. He screamed a
battle cry as he attacked.

***

"My Milliard." Treize wrapped his arms around him and
kissed him again. "Mine, always."

"Yours," Zechs whispered across the short distance
between them. He would stay here. He only brought pain
to Wufei and Duo deserved someone better than he. He
couldn't abandon Treize a second time, not when the
man so obviously wanted him to stay.

"You'll stay with me? Milliard?"

Treize drew back and studied his face intently. Zechs
lowered his eyes to just listen to the voice.

In the back of his mind, he pushed a quick smile and
long braided hair, buried along with it Wufei's dark
eyes that glared at him accusingly. They were better
without him, he brought nothing but suffering to all
around him. Hadn't that proved true time and time
again?

***

"We can't keep him here. If the Alliance should find
him, my family will be killed."

A younger Milliard Peacecraft listened quietly. He
knew it was all his fault. He could still feel his
mother's blood dripping down onto his face, while he
lay beneath her body frozen with fear. A paralysis
that had saved his life. She had shielded him with her
own body. He couldn't allow anyone else to be hurt
because of him.

"Of course. We'll only be staying tonight. Don't
worry, we'll be gone by morning."

And they had been, and he'd been passed about like the
unlucky token he was, with no place to call his home.
The only comfort was the knowledge that his sister had
been taken in, though he could never see her again. He
could not endanger her in that way.

***

He looked at the screen again. It had been confirmed.
Walker was dead, dying for the soldiers of the future,
like Zechs had taught him, or so he had said. He
should have done something different, he shouldn't
have allowed this to happen. Was one mobile suit worth
this? A mobile suit that might not even work?

Walker had thought so. He would honor his memory and
make him correct. There was nothing else Zechs could
do.

***

"Otto! Otto!"

"I will give my life for your dream, sir."

The screen turned to static and he jerked his head to
the direction the Tallgeese had taken.

Why? I don't want you to die in my place. But he
arrived too late. Otto had liberated the Sanq Kingdom.

***

Should he accept their offer? There was nothing left
now. Relena had surrendered Sanq. He had not been in
time.

White Fang fought for the colonies, and so would he.
This had to end, somehow. There was only one way he
knew how to do it. This was no the time for diplomacy
and he was no diplomat. Revenge was his business,
revenge and death. It was certainly what he knew best.

***

Noin looked at him with sad eyes. "I can't do this
anymore, Zechs. I love you, I always will, but that
isn't enough. I..." Her voice broke, but she
continued, "I want you to leave. I'm sorry."

***

One last transmission into oblivion before one of
Earth's greatest men was gone forever. "I'll be
waiting for you on the other side, Milliard."

***

"Milliard?"

Zechs raised his eyes again. "Of course, Treize. Of
course I'll stay."

Welcome to eternity.

***

"Aaaahhh!" Wufei spun with a powerful kick aimed at
Meiran. She didn't even attempt to block it and he
barely managed to land in shock. He had passed right
through her.

"There's no need for that, husband. I'm just a
messenger."

"Ancestors!" he swore. "What..."

"Yes, I'm dead and you are right to be wary in this
place, but you're wasting time."

He stood once again and faced her. "Why?" His thoughts
were not coherent enough for a more complex question.
He wasn't even sure what he was questioning.

She smiled, something rarely directed at him. "You did
as I asked, you fought for us. Thank you, Husband."

He hung his head in shame. Despite that, he had not
been able to save the place she fought and died for.
As if reading his mind, she continued. "Do not blame
yourself for the colony. You did what you could."

"But it wasn't enough," he nearly growled. "I should
have..."

"They did what they thought was best. I... I am sorry
that things turned out as they did. I'm sorry that you
were hurt so much here." She reached up and her hand
did not press on his chest over his heart, but into
it.

"No, Meiran..." He would have continued, but he
stopped with a shiver as a ghostly hand went from his
chest to lips to stop him.

"Will you forgive me for burdening you with this?"

She waited for his answer, dark eyes on his. He spoke
in a whisper. "Yes. Meiran, I..."

"Wufei," her voice sterner now, saying his name for
the first time. "That was what I wanted to ask you,
why I wished to be your messenger. But there isn't any
more time. One of your friends is already beyond
saving."

She walked and he followed her. Despite her seemingly
slow pace, it was difficult to keep up. "Come with me,
I'll take you where you need to be."

***

Hands were everywhere. The undid buttons, pushing his
shirt off around his shoulders, pressed into his
chest, moved lower, touching him like he hadn't been
touched since...

Treize bit the juncture of neck and shoulder
possessively, marking him, owning him. And everything
was all right, if he just closed his eyes. Yes, if he
just closed his eyes.

Zechs bit back a moan as the other man shifted against
him.

All right, everything, he didn't have to see. This was
Treize as he'd always been. But even that didn't block
the quirky smile that became a frown, violet orbs
filled with betrayal. Or how they blended into darker
eyes, that accused him of everything. There was no
reason for guilt, none at all.

He kept his eyes closed.

***

"Do you love him?"

There was no question about whom she meant. "I... I
think so."

"Would you do anything to save him? To bring him out
of this place, no matter the cost?"

It did not matter that his love was not returned.
There was no doubt in his answer.

"Yes."

She stopped. "Always so stubborn. This is a good
thing, you'll need to be." Meiran gazed at him sadly.
"Remember, I'll always be with you. Now you must save
him from himself."

Her seemingly solid form began to fade and he grabbed
for her, to keep her with him. "He's just beyond this
door. Follow your heart."

She flickered like a candle and winked out, leaving an
afterimage engraved on both his soul and his eyes.

"Follow your heart, it will not lead you astray."

He pushed open the entranceway and walked in.

***

They'd lost it somehow, in a blur of twists and turns
that even confused him. Quatre leaned against the wall
panting for breath.

**It’s no good. They'll find you here. You can't get
out. Both of you will pay for what happened to us.
Murdering scum.**

**No, there is an exit. I can feel it.**

It did no good to argue with the voices. The dead
could not change their ways. There was no way to
explain that it was war and weren't they as bad as he?
They had been soldiers, they should have expected what
was to come.

But an exit wasn't enough. Now there were only two of
them.

"Trowa, we're close, but we have to find the others."

Trowa looked at him as if asking him about getting
supplies to fight the things in this place.

"No, I don't know if we can get back in once we leave.
I don't think we're supposed to be here."

Trowa nodded in response.

***

Wufei froze at the sight. It was like his shoes had
suddenly become lead boots and he simply could not
move, either forward or away. Zechs lay on the desk in
a state of half dress, his shirt open to reveal smooth
muscle and perfect skin broken by jagged cuts near the
top of his chest, his pants pushed down. But most of
this was scarcely visible with the body that covered
him. It was not nearly so unclothed, but almost as
familiar. It was one he had seen in his dreams and his
nightmares for over a year. Wufei would know that
tawny head anywhere.

Emotion flooded him, but whether rage or jealousy he
couldn't tell. Perhaps a mix of both. If it had been
anyone but him, but it wasn't.

He was there for what seemed eternity, his hands
clenched at his sides. And damn himself for liking
what he saw.

Somehow he must have been noticed for Treize turned to
look at him as Zechs made a sound of disappointment.
The wreck of his face quelled any arousal he had been
feeling.

"Well, Dragon, come to join us?"

Wufei's mouth opened to reply but no sound came out.

"Treize? Why did you stop?" Zechs eyes flickered open
and he followed the other's gaze to lock with Wufei's
own. "Wufei..."

And was that guilt?

"No, I came for Zechs." No matter how he felt about
Treize, no matter the things that never happened, but
could have if either of them had been less honorable
men.

"So you would take this away from me too? My life
wasn't enough, you'd have me stay here all alone?
Milliard has already promised to stay with me." Treize
smiled. "You wouldn't have him go back on his word,
would you, Dragon?"

His eyes widened and it *hurt* to know how little he
mattered to Zechs, that he would be abandoned in an
instant.

//No matter the cost...// his wife had said. He hadn't
known it would be his heart.

Zechs pushed himself out from under Treize and
struggled with his clothing.

"Zechs? Did you?" But he already knew the answer.
Treize had been and would always be the person closest
to his partner's heart, his soul mate even when they
stood facing each other across opposing armies.

"Yes."

"See, Dragon? He's here because he wants to be."

And part of him wanted to run, but if he left Zechs
was gone forever. And that was something he never
wanted to happen.

//Follow your heart, husband.//

"Why? Why, damn you? I know you loved him, but he's
*dead*." Something that he had spent a so long coming
to terms with himself, and they'd never been close.
Not like Zechs and Treize... not like Zechs and
himself. "He's dead and you're not. You can't stay
here." You have to stay with me.

Zechs looked at him with as much pain as he was
feeling himself. No, this had not been the easy
instant decision he had thought it was. Somehow that
didn't make him feel better.

"I know he's dead. Of course he is. Everyone I care
about dies or leaves me. I did this to him."

Except he hadn't, it had been Wufei.

"It can't happen again. No one else has to pay for my
sins. No one else dies because of me!" The last
sentence was a half-choked declaration. "Leave me
here, I don't want to lose you either." Whispered
words only heard over the absolute silence.

And Wufei knew exactly what he meant, understood it
because he had lived it himself. And he couldn't let
it happen again now.

"So you think it’s not worth it? There are people
willing to take that risk to be close to you. I'm
willing to take that risk! It would be worth it." To
be close to you. "Don't you dare be so weak as to take
this as an easy way out."

Don't stay here with this ghost, this specter... this
illusion. **Ancestors!**

"Do you think if this was really Treize he'd want you
to give up on life or to fight?"

"Dragon, what are you talking about?" Treize arched an
eyebrow.

"Wufei, what are you saying?"

"That *thing* over there isn't Treize. It's not real,
it's just trying to trap you here."

And Zechs cast a glance at the former ruler of
Earthsphere. Wufei continued, trying to explain.

"Quatre almost was killed by his own mother, except it
wasn't her. I saw what was left of it. I don't even
know if it had ever been human."

"Milliard, I would never do that to you."

"I met a man who had been trapped in his own version
of hell. How do you know that this isn't Treize?"

"How do you know that this isn't YOUR hell? How do you
know any of this is real? Is this what you really
want?"

Zechs stepped away as Treize reached out for him.
"Treize wouldn't be here, shouldn't be here."

"Where are you going? You promised you'd stay."

Zechs walked towards Wufei and the exit. Wufei kept
his eye on the other occupant as he followed.

"You promised."

Wufei turned away as well.

"Milliard, don't leave me here! Please, Milliard!"

TBC...

NOTES

Some of Zechs' flashbacks might seem a bit off from
what actually happened, but this is because people
remember selectively and even can create false
memories. This is how he viewed the events looking
back on them, especially colored by the guilt he feels.